


Confession (Bravery)

by QueenOfNewOrleans22



Category: Bon Jovi (Band)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Homophobia
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-28
Updated: 2020-11-28
Packaged: 2021-03-09 18:01:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,561
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27750454
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenOfNewOrleans22/pseuds/QueenOfNewOrleans22
Summary: Richie wants to tell his parents the truth - Jon doesn't.
Relationships: Jon Bon Jovi/Richie Sambora
Comments: 20
Kudos: 21





	Confession (Bravery)

**Author's Note:**

> I'm in a really bad place right now. Don't be surprised if I just disappear.

They were backstage. 

"Smile, would you?" Richie poked at Jon, which only resulted in an angry glare and unsaid threats. "We did great, what more could you ask for?" He peered around them, glancing at each and every person, before leaning foward. "Whad'dya want me to do? Go over to you, force you onto your knees, and - " 

" _Oh, fuck off."_ Jon knocked him in the shoulder, his lips trapped in a carefully neutral line. 

Richie grinned. "Well, I needed some way to get you to speak." He said, and then the grin fell away, replaced by a confused, worried little frown that didn't suit his expressive face. "What's wrong, huh?" He raised his hand, placing it on the back of Jon's head so he could turn it slowly, until they were staring at each other. 

Brown eyes met blue, a sea and a lake. 

"What do we do - " Jon lowered his voice into a whisper. " - when they don't give a fuck about us anymore?" 

"Who?" Richie glanced around them. "Management?" 

Jon shook his head, fast enough and hard enough that his hair was flying all over the place, a blur of dirty blonde and dark roots that were just beginning to show through. "The _audience."_ He hissed. 

It took Richie a minute, but his mouth formed an O-shape, and he nodded slowly, like he was physically inserting the information into his mind. "Okay." He finally said, as if it was that simple. "Well, I can't see that happening, personally." Richie shrugged. 

"Fine, then." Jon went to pull away. 

Richie reached out and grabbed him, pulling him back easily. " _But,_ if that ever does happen, then maybe it'll be for the best." He said. 

Jon didn't reply, but he stared at Richie, half confused and half irritated. 

"Just think about this for a minute." Richie took advantage of the silence. "You and me, old and grey, vacationing in a cabin far, far away from people, alone." 

"Oh, Rich." Jon sighed. "You know that we can't." 

The sadness in his lover's voice reminded Richie of what might ever happen if their secret were to be revealed. Sometimes, he wondered about it, what might transpire if he were to reveal it to the world. But the look on Jon's face stopped all of those fantasies every damn time. "Yeah, but it doesn't hurt to dream." Richie said quietly, kissing the side of Jon's neck. "If we didn't dream, then we would all still be stuck in Jersey." 

Jon's tension only got worse. "That's not the same thing." He said, as if he were a rock climber, dangling on the side of a mountain, scrambling for a hold on anything, some sort of stability in a freefall. "What'll our parents think? What'll the guys think? The fans - they'll hate us, think we're disgusting fa- fa-" Jon couldn't get the words out, and so he sat there, arms crossed, looking so alone despite being right next to the only person who he would ever trust to love him. 

"Oh, c'mon. Don't say shit like that." Richie said, voice calm, even though his blood turned to ice as the words. "Our parents won't give a damn about who we love."

A moment passed, and Richie bit his lip. "Okay, it might take some adjusting, but they'd still love us, Jonny. And the guys will be more annoyed that we didn't tell them sooner than about us being - I dunno, _lovers."_ He pitched his voice into a whisper, reminded that they weren't exactly in a private place. 

"The fans, Rich." Jon repeated. "This is our dream, isn't it? Playing in front of a crowd of millions." He seemed unsure, though, as if he didn't quite believe himself. 

"The ones who'll call us those names aren't true fans." Richie replied, playing with a strand of Jon's hair, tugging on it lightly so that Jon would look at him. Richie sighed, twisting the strand around his finger, around and around and around, a compulsive habit of his. "C'mon. Let's go somewhere more private." 

And they did, leaving the stadium with secrecy that seemed almost natural, passing by security, unnoticed. Or maybe they were noticed, but nobody bothered them as they went by, like teenagers sneaking from their parents' home. 

A few minutes passed in which they meandered around, searching for a place that wasn't too far away where nobody could see them.

Eventually, they stumbled across a relatively large clearing that was a ways away from the stadium in which they'd been playing at just a few moments before. 

There was a small lake, and Richie looked down at it, seeing his reflection in the plague waters. He bent down and grabbed a small stone, lightly tossing it into the water, watching as it splashed and then floated around aimlessly, with nowhere to go, unable to swim. 

Hidden, Richie felt a little more reassured that nobody would stumble across them, although being back at the hotel would be much more safe. "People will find out soon enough." Richie said. "We can't keep this hidden forever." He felt like a jerk, having to say it, but it couldn't be avoided. 

Jon lingered behind. "I don't _want_ them to know." He said. 

"Why not?" Richie asked, trying to keep his voice light, pleasant. "Is it because you're afraid of ruining the band, or because you're ashamed of me?" The last part was an accident, slipping out without warning, words that held such a big impact. 

"No!" Jon looked devastated. "But they can't know. Not now, not ever, not when I'm dead." 

"It's not like our music is gonna change." Richie felt like he was grasping at straws, desperate for acceptance, for agreement. "It's not like _we're_ gonna change. We were together before we even got signed on! Jon, what are you so afraid of? Being seen as gay, not being accepted by society?" 

"I don't want to talk about this anymore." Jon said, crossing his arms, his voice so quiet that it was hard to hear. 

Richie shook his head. "We need to talk about this." He continued. "I can't hide what we are forever, babe. Do you know how many times a day I want to just scream it out loud? But I don't, because you don't want that. But, jeez, I want to tell my parents - I love you, more than any friend should. I want them to know that the reason their son isn't dating is because he's already gone and gotten it up with the same guy that he's been friends with since we were practically kids." 

"I'm not _gay."_ Jon muttered. 

" _Ooookkkaay."_ Richie said, feeling a little lost. "Then what are you?" 

Jon shrugged. "I dunno, but you're the only guy I could see myself with." He sighed, and buried his face in his hands, hiding those beautiful eyes that Richie so desperately wanted to see. "Will this make you happy?" 

A moment passed, maybe two. "Yeah." Richie nodded. 

"Go tell them." Jon was mumbling, wrapping his arms around his stomach. "I want you to be happy. Go tell them." His breathing was harsh, bared teeth, and he was so afraid. 

So, so afraid. 

"Well, I'm not gonna tell them if you're gonna rile yourself up over it." Richie said as he walked over, grass crunching underneath his shoes, the world rushing around them, but it didn't matter. Not in that moment. "Jon - _Jonny,_ all I'm saying is that this isn't a secret that I can keep for eternity like you want me to. And I think my parents - and yours - deserve to know the truth, that's all I'm trying to say here." He placed his hand on Jon's back, feeling his spine beneath his fingers, muscles shifting underneath the gentle touch. 

"I know." Jon said tearfully. "I know that I'm being unfair. But I'm so scared, Rich. I don't want anything bad to happen. I don't want to be seen as gay or anything like that. I don't want to end up being one of those poor guys on the news who end up getting killed because they happen to love another guy." He paused. "I don't want for Tico and Dave and Alec to have that burden on their shoulders, of their leader and their guitarist fucking behind their backs and not being able to get work because of it." 

Richie shushed him, his hand moving up to his hair and lightly stroking the roots in an attempt to calm him. "That won't happen, I won't let it." Richie was determined, and utterly persistent in his attempts. He wouldn't let anything happen to either of them if he could help it. "They're our parents, baby. They won't give a damn, they're only gonna be glad that we're happy." 

"You don't know that." Jon mumbled, letting out a shuddering breathe. He grabbed Richie by the arms, his slender fingers tightening their grip almost automatically. "I'm scared." He confessed. 

"We'll be fine, trust me." Richie knew that he was asking a lot, and that he was risking even more. 

But there was something about it that seemed so right. 

Jon sighed, and allowed Richie to pull him into his arms, until his heart could stop beating so fast. "I hope you're right, I really do." He mumbled against Richie's shoulder. 

"I am." Richie prayed that he was. 


End file.
